Lessons from my Roommate

"This is just another lesson to trust God's timing over your own. You can't be in control of this. BE OK WITH THAT!"

2:00 AM brings lots of randomness to suite 121, but sometimes inbetween the chocolate and the movies, there is a split second of soul searching. Without even knowing it, Erica told me exactly what I needed to hear, EXACTLY when I needed to hear it.

God's timing is perfect. I keep telling myself that. It's one of those things that I know to be true but have a hard time living by. I want control. I want specifics. I don't want to wait. But I'm learning. The past week I have focused my efforts (well all those efforts that weren't focused on Humanities) on trusting God's timing and control. I don't want to be in control when I think about it. I tend to screw things up. Although time and time again I have given up the reigns of my life to God and time and time again I feel myself spinning out of control and try to grasp hold of whatever I can. Typically that is a tiny shred of the reigns and I make myself comfortable again in my little created, controlled world. But my grasp is weak and eventually I fall, faster than before, before God's hand catches me and He says (in Kenzie paraphrase) "I told ya so." I hope and pray next time I fall I reach first for God's hand.

Test, Community Groups, and Tennis... Oh My!

This week starts our first round of testing. I have three this week including a humanities exam on Thursday.

I've managed to mangle my shoulder into a million little pieces, so I'm out of tennis the rest of the week and doing physical therapy with the trainer.

On a better note, I joined a small group at my church with Mr and Mrs. Dorr. Erica and I went last night and it was amazing. God couldn't have worked out the situation any better. Their house is beautiful, the food was amazing, and the people are some of the most interesting I have met in a while. I'm very excited about it. Most of the group is from ESTU and there are a few grad students.

Mrs. Dorr is the children's minister at the church and I have turned in my application with her to begin helping.

So if all goes according to plan:
* i won't fail out of school
* i'll be playing tennis by next monday
* i FINALLY be able to work with kids at church and begin to make this church feel like my church home.

Living With People

Living with people is inevitable. God created us a dependant people. We live in close proximity to people, especially in a college dorm. We share a couch, a sink, a remote, and sometimes even a toothbrush. In order to survive a healthy family life, a successful college career, a marriage, we must learn to live with people.
"Living" with people is inevitable. God created us a relational people. We thrive on others' thoughts, conversation. As a creature we need people near us, people close to us, to love on us and for us to love on them. But people can be hurtful, weird, and disrespectful. In order to have healthy relationships we must learn to "live" with people.
Learning to live with people is a lot easier for me than learning to "live" with people. I need people around. I need people close simply to carry on a conversation with. Life is better with people. But those same people who bring so much joy to your life are the same people who tear you down. It happens in every relationship from the time we begin having cognitive relationships, "Suzi's my best friend and she said that she didn't want to play with me!", to middle school, "But I thought you were going to share a locker with me?", to high school, "He said he loved me.", to college "And I have to share a bathroom with you?", and I'm assume straight on through the rest of life.
A wild tongue is the hardest part of the body to train and it's sharpness can pierce right through to the very core of an individual. But with every harsh word that is said to me, I can think of 10 that I in return have tossed around in playful jest or even anger. I am at extreme fault in this area of my life as well, and so when the tables turn it gives me an opening to evaluate myself and see if I need to reign in my tongue.
Although words can hurt, they can also heal. The right word spoken by the right person can heal any ailment that may come my way. I thank God for all the words that have been spoken to me this weekend. Some in anger, some in jealousy, but most in love. I love the people that God has blessed me with in my life. And although they are the same people who can knock the wind out of me and make me fall to my knees, they are the very same people who hold out their hand and pull me back up. I hate ending anything with a cliche although a few come to mind (the people who you love the most can also hurt you the most, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.) So instead I will simply say that I am grateful for the pain, the struggles, the fun, and the love that lead to deep, lasting relationships. I am grateful that God has given me the opportunity to learn to "live" with people.