I went to NYC to visit Amos over spring break. While I was in NY, OH was hit was a blizzard. I was warned of this by Mom the day before I was scheduled to begin my journey home. Being a full 2 hours away from the airport, I woke up at 6:00 AM to check the internet to see if my flight into Columbus had been delayed. Knowing there was 10 inches of snow, seeing no delay, and having no phone number to call to check the flight's status (since Skybus is so good at keeping "fares low for you" by cutting our all the important parts of a flight service), Amos and I left for the airport. After our two hour journey, we pulled into the airport parking lot to the singing of my ringtone... Mom was calling. She informed me Skybus had decided to delay my flight 2 hours. "No big deal," I thought, "Amos and I can just go hang out somewhere for a few hours." I decided that before we left the airport, I should run in and make sure the flight had been delayed.
Standing behind the Skybus kiosk was a beautiful, foreign women who seemed happy to greet me. "Good morning, thanks for flying Skybus! How can I help you?" I told her of my plan to fly into the blizzard. Before I could utter the first syllable of "Columbus," I was interrupted by an urgent:
"SO MUCH SNOW! YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW MUCH SNOW IS IN OHIO! SO MUCH SNOW! YOU CAN'T LEAVE! YOU'RE NOT LEAVING! SO MUCH SNOW!"
Slightly taken aback by her apparent loss of control, I assured her I was aware of the blizzard and simply needed to know when my flight would be leaving.
"YOU'RE NOT LEAVING! YOU CAN'T LEAVE! SO MUCH SNOW!"
I'm not leaving ever? Seriously... come on. When can I leave?
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? SO MUCH SNOW!"
Right! Got it. Lots of snow. When can I go home?
She finally regained control and informed me my flight had been delayed a few hours and I was free to leave and visit the city. All I had to do was to return an hour before my flight. I thanked her and left with a smile on my face thinking of the fallen snow in Ohio and thanking God for a few more hours with Amos.
An hour later, Amos was sitting outside the airport, waiting for me to check my ETD. My arrival at the Skybus kiosk was greeting with a lovely sign hanging directly in my line of sight which read "Closed." Closed? What does that mean? My plan leaves from here in 2 hours. Can it really be closed? My conversation with the obviously most intelligent person in the airport came to an abrupt halt when my good friend from before, who I began to refer to in my head as "so much snow lady," peeked her head around the door in the back, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're closed."
I explained to her that they couldn't be closed because I was scheduled to leave within the next few hours. She proceeded to tell me I had misunderstood our previous conversation and what she meant by "free to leave and visit the city" was actually " you need to stay and check in your bags now because the kiosk will be closing." An obvious mistake that anyone could make. Apparently the kiosk closes 30 minutes before the flight is scheduled to take off not regarding delays or cancellations. So, as "So much snow" lady stood clicking her long, red fingernails on the counter I plead my case. She threw in random comments such as, "you should have read the fine print," and "it's not my fault, the computer won't let you through," and I believe there was even a "Geez, lady, give it up!"
After 10 minutes of my sad sob story, she finally realized I wasn't giving it up. She cleared her throat and said, "Alright, if you check in right now, I'll let you go through." Apparently this lady owns the Stewart International Airport and controls all the comings and goings, including the functions of the computer. I forced a thank you and then looked down and remembered I had left my luggage in the car with Amos, in hopes that the flight would have yet another delay. Our eyes met, mine with a look of panic, her's with a look of sheer joy.
Standing behind the Skybus kiosk was a beautiful, foreign women who seemed happy to greet me. "Good morning, thanks for flying Skybus! How can I help you?" I told her of my plan to fly into the blizzard. Before I could utter the first syllable of "Columbus," I was interrupted by an urgent:
"SO MUCH SNOW! YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW MUCH SNOW IS IN OHIO! SO MUCH SNOW! YOU CAN'T LEAVE! YOU'RE NOT LEAVING! SO MUCH SNOW!"
Slightly taken aback by her apparent loss of control, I assured her I was aware of the blizzard and simply needed to know when my flight would be leaving.
"YOU'RE NOT LEAVING! YOU CAN'T LEAVE! SO MUCH SNOW!"
I'm not leaving ever? Seriously... come on. When can I leave?
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? SO MUCH SNOW!"
Right! Got it. Lots of snow. When can I go home?
She finally regained control and informed me my flight had been delayed a few hours and I was free to leave and visit the city. All I had to do was to return an hour before my flight. I thanked her and left with a smile on my face thinking of the fallen snow in Ohio and thanking God for a few more hours with Amos.
An hour later, Amos was sitting outside the airport, waiting for me to check my ETD. My arrival at the Skybus kiosk was greeting with a lovely sign hanging directly in my line of sight which read "Closed." Closed? What does that mean? My plan leaves from here in 2 hours. Can it really be closed? My conversation with the obviously most intelligent person in the airport came to an abrupt halt when my good friend from before, who I began to refer to in my head as "so much snow lady," peeked her head around the door in the back, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're closed."
I explained to her that they couldn't be closed because I was scheduled to leave within the next few hours. She proceeded to tell me I had misunderstood our previous conversation and what she meant by "free to leave and visit the city" was actually " you need to stay and check in your bags now because the kiosk will be closing." An obvious mistake that anyone could make. Apparently the kiosk closes 30 minutes before the flight is scheduled to take off not regarding delays or cancellations. So, as "So much snow" lady stood clicking her long, red fingernails on the counter I plead my case. She threw in random comments such as, "you should have read the fine print," and "it's not my fault, the computer won't let you through," and I believe there was even a "Geez, lady, give it up!"
After 10 minutes of my sad sob story, she finally realized I wasn't giving it up. She cleared her throat and said, "Alright, if you check in right now, I'll let you go through." Apparently this lady owns the Stewart International Airport and controls all the comings and goings, including the functions of the computer. I forced a thank you and then looked down and remembered I had left my luggage in the car with Amos, in hopes that the flight would have yet another delay. Our eyes met, mine with a look of panic, her's with a look of sheer joy.
"You have two minutes."
Two minutes??!?! Seriously lady... get off your high horse and...
Before I could finish my thought I realized this lady actually could keep me in NY for as long as she wanted. So I called Amos and I ran out the door.
"I NEED MY LUGGAGE!"
"Kenzie, you have like an hour and a half before your plane leaves... you need to calm..."
"I HAVE TWO MINUTES!"
"Kenzie, you must have looked at your watch wrong..."
"Amos, my dear and sweet boyfriend, please be the sweetheart I know you are and bring me my luggage."
(Ok, your right, that's not exactly what I said... but, we'll leave it with that.)
At this point, Amos explained to me there had been an "incident" in the parking lot, and he wasn't able to get out.
"An incident? What does that mean."
"I don't know, Kenzie. Someone was backing out, someone else was pulling forward, another car showed up out of nowhere going the wrong way... long story made short, I can't move my car."
You have got to be kidding me. With no other options, I started my treck to the parking lot. I finally saw the Road Runner. (Amos' car. His horn sounds exactly like Road Runner's MEEP! MEEP!) A few minutes later, I stood out of breath in front of the Skybus kiosk for the third time that morning. After a conversation about the exact number of minutes my journey across the entire airport had taken, "So much Snow" checked me onto the plane. In a quite conversational tone, she also added this nice tidbit of information.
"Oh, by the way, your flight just arrived. You leave in 15 minutes."
Before I could say anything else, I grabbed my bags, turned to leave, and was thankfully greeted by a tremendously short line for security. Amos came sprinting in the door, apparently having escape from the madhouse they call a parking lot. We assumed our position in line behind an adorable, old man. When he arrived at the conveyor belt, it was made certain, this man was in no hurry. Slowly but surely one shoe came off, and then the other one. Amos is whispering lots of patience into my ear as the clock is ticking and I am about to run this poor soul over. His bag goes under the x-ray machine and of course, they stop and decide to question him.
"Sir, what are handcuffs doing in your carry-on bag?"
Handcuffs? Seriously?
He explained to them that he is a retired police officer and is just in the habit of carrying them wherever he goes. As soon they convince him he is required to leave them off the plane, he steps through the metal detector, grabs MY BOOK BAG, and continues on his merry way.
As I stand behind the metal detector, unable to go through yet I yelled, "Umm, excuse me sir, I believe you have my book bag."
He continues walking.
"EXCUSE ME SIR, YOU HAVE MY BAG!"
He continues walking.
Then Amos to the rescue, "Sir, you took our book bag."
He turns around and smiles the cutest, old man smile ever and says, "Well, I guess I do!"
How can you be angry at that? Who knows, but I was.
Running extremely late by this point, as soon as we are through the metal detector, Amos grabs everything from the conveyor belt, and we run. No shoes, no belts, just run. Then I hear the awful sound of something hitting the ground and breaking. I stopped and slowly turned around. There and the floor was the remnants of Amos' phone. Having no time to cry over broken cell phones, I picked up all the pieces to give it a proper burial at a later time and we continued to run. When we arrived at gate B17, we sat down and laughed. Laughed so hard, I had tears running down my cheeks. What else could we do?
But soon after that, the laughing stopped. I was required to pay a $10 check in fee for my luggage. As I was putting away the receipt that I still had in my hand, I realized "So much Snow" had managed to charge me $118. Just a little off. I took a deep breath and went up to the boarding desk at my gate. The lady smiled, said it would be easily taken care of, but I would have to wait because they were in the middle of a shift change. She assured me the next person would be up before my plane took off. And she was right. As soon as she left, I heard a familiar voice behind me, and could hear the haunting sound of long, red fingernails on the counter. "So much Snow" was back. I turned around and gave her the best smile I could muster. After relaying my problem she responded with a curt, "Oh, the woman who doesn't have luggage or a boarding pass and arrives hours late, wants to tell me I made a mistake."
I bit my tongue.
"Well, ma'am, I'm sorry, but you seem to have charged my $118."
She grabbed the receipt and looked at it, only pausing to say over the intercom, "Last boarding call for our flight to Columbus."
She ever so slowly fixed my payment and shoved my new receipt in my face.
I turned around, took my stuff from Amos and said a very tearful goodbye. As I turned back around to "So much Snow" she saw the tears in my eyes and the mascara all over my face, and said, "Awww, rough day at the airport, sweetheart?"
I have never been so close to hitting someone in my entire life.
I wish I could say that was the end of the story. I wish I could say that the rest of the trip was relaxing and fabulous. But oh, how I would be wrong.
When I sat down in my airline seat, I couldn't have been more relived. Yes, I was sad, but I was also on my plane and headed home. My relief lasted until I heard this come over the intercom:
"Good afternoon Skybus customers, this is your captain speaking. As many of you have heard there is horrible weather in Columbus. So, we're going to give this a try, and we'll see how it goes. We should have a speedy take off, seeing how we are first in line for the runway. Ok, correct that, we are the ONLY ones in line for the runway. Looks like we are the only ones fly today folks, so let's give it a go! Please enjoy the ride, and thank you for flying Skybus,"
Not exactly what I wanted to hear. Channeling a Mark Lowery sketch, I was gratefully for my seat on the back of the plane, because there has never been reports of planes crashing tail first. As Mark Lowery would say, "I sit my tail on the tail in order to save my tail." Works for me.
The flight was extremely rough, but we made it. After our landing the intercom clicked in anticipation for the following message:
"Welcome to Columbus, OH. The weather here is.... cold. There is 18 inches of snow on the ground. We were unsure of the safety of that landing, but it looks like we pulled it off as we and the plane are all still intact. Looks like I'm a better pilot than I thought. Thank you for flying Skybus and enjoy your trip to Columbus."
I sprinted off the plane. I figured I shouldn't test my luck by staying on the plane any longer than need be. When I arrived at our hotel on airport grounds, I was greeted by a friendly hotel manager.
"Good Afternoon, ma'am. How can I help you?"
"I'm looking for the Pfeifer's room."
"I'm sorry I can't give you that information."
"Oh yeah, that's right.... I'll just call them, that's ok. Thanks for you help though."
"You can't call them."
Excuse me? I can't call my parents?? Do you even know what kind of a day I've had? What do you mean I can't call my parents?
"Well sir, I have my cell phone here, I think I'll just give them a call."
"No, ma'am I'm sorry. I'll have to call them for you. Can I have your name please?"
"I'm their daughter, McKenzie"
"You're their daughter, you say? Right...Ok, hang on a moment please."
As the phone rings, I replay my day in my head. At the end of a day like this, all I know for sure is my name... and now this man is questioning that? You have got to be kidding me!
"Mrs. Pfeifer, there is a girl in the front lobby claiming to be your daughter... would you mind to come retriever her?"
He hung up the phone and I averted my eyes. I couldn't trust what might come out of my mouth.
Needless to say, I have never been so grateful to see my parents. They came into the lobby, and I fought the urge to turn to the manager and stick out my tongue. With tears in my eyes, Mom, Dad, and I walked back to the comfort of our hotel room to wait out the Ohio Blizzard of '08.
When we sat down in the room, Dad gave me a hug and said, "So Kenzie, how was the trip home?"
Oh, Father Dearest, where do I begin?
When I sat down in my airline seat, I couldn't have been more relived. Yes, I was sad, but I was also on my plane and headed home. My relief lasted until I heard this come over the intercom:
"Good afternoon Skybus customers, this is your captain speaking. As many of you have heard there is horrible weather in Columbus. So, we're going to give this a try, and we'll see how it goes. We should have a speedy take off, seeing how we are first in line for the runway. Ok, correct that, we are the ONLY ones in line for the runway. Looks like we are the only ones fly today folks, so let's give it a go! Please enjoy the ride, and thank you for flying Skybus,"
Not exactly what I wanted to hear. Channeling a Mark Lowery sketch, I was gratefully for my seat on the back of the plane, because there has never been reports of planes crashing tail first. As Mark Lowery would say, "I sit my tail on the tail in order to save my tail." Works for me.
The flight was extremely rough, but we made it. After our landing the intercom clicked in anticipation for the following message:
"Welcome to Columbus, OH. The weather here is.... cold. There is 18 inches of snow on the ground. We were unsure of the safety of that landing, but it looks like we pulled it off as we and the plane are all still intact. Looks like I'm a better pilot than I thought. Thank you for flying Skybus and enjoy your trip to Columbus."
I sprinted off the plane. I figured I shouldn't test my luck by staying on the plane any longer than need be. When I arrived at our hotel on airport grounds, I was greeted by a friendly hotel manager.
"Good Afternoon, ma'am. How can I help you?"
"I'm looking for the Pfeifer's room."
"I'm sorry I can't give you that information."
"Oh yeah, that's right.... I'll just call them, that's ok. Thanks for you help though."
"You can't call them."
Excuse me? I can't call my parents?? Do you even know what kind of a day I've had? What do you mean I can't call my parents?
"Well sir, I have my cell phone here, I think I'll just give them a call."
"No, ma'am I'm sorry. I'll have to call them for you. Can I have your name please?"
"I'm their daughter, McKenzie"
"You're their daughter, you say? Right...Ok, hang on a moment please."
As the phone rings, I replay my day in my head. At the end of a day like this, all I know for sure is my name... and now this man is questioning that? You have got to be kidding me!
"Mrs. Pfeifer, there is a girl in the front lobby claiming to be your daughter... would you mind to come retriever her?"
He hung up the phone and I averted my eyes. I couldn't trust what might come out of my mouth.
Needless to say, I have never been so grateful to see my parents. They came into the lobby, and I fought the urge to turn to the manager and stick out my tongue. With tears in my eyes, Mom, Dad, and I walked back to the comfort of our hotel room to wait out the Ohio Blizzard of '08.
When we sat down in the room, Dad gave me a hug and said, "So Kenzie, how was the trip home?"
Oh, Father Dearest, where do I begin?
2 comments:
oh mckenzie! i so loved reading this post!! i totally understand travel/airplane issues as my husband and i dated long distance too...though ours involved immigration and customs fun at international airports!! but oh my, what a day. i'm so glad that you actually got to fly on the day planned...
janelle (mandys milligan friend)
I too would like to hit the snow lady. She reminds me of the white witch in Narnia, or maybe that's just because I finished reading that book. At any rate, you're a good storyteller. We now both have excellent airplane stories. I think everyone needs at least one in their life.
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